first we have coffee

it's ok.....

2009-01-18T08:23:00.001-08:00

justin went out of town overnight and our little L has hard time whenever he leaves. she cried the night before and the morning of his departure. it's absolutely heartbreaking.... we made it through the day and night yesterday without any major breakdown. {i brought in the reinforcements- the uncles, erica and tiara!}

this morning the girls had a fashion/talent show. i sat at the bottom of the stairs and they came parading down the stairs singing the entire time. this is how L's song went....

it's ok, it's ok.. he will comfort you, sadness will go away, it's ok, it's ok, he's my friend, he will comfort you, Jesus it's ok, even when your mom and dad go away, you can wake up in the morning and it's ok...

a little glimpse into her heart... it's ok......

a new year... in many ways.

2009-01-02T12:16:00.000-08:00

yesterday, justin and i sat down with our coffee to write out our goals for 2009. we sealed them in an envelope, not to be opened until next new years eve. as i was writing out my desires, goals, struggles from past years, i was struck with how far i've come in one year and yet, how far i have to go....

i'll share a struggle with you. GUILT.

i looked up GUILT in the dictionary:

- guilt is an affective state in which one experiences conflict at having done something that one believes one should not have done (or conversely, having not done something one believes one should have done).

my struggle tends to be the conflict i face when i feel that i have let someone down, or haven't fulfilled the expectations i have put on myself. today, this really hit me when i prepared to clean the house after the past month of busyness. i felt overwhelmed with every corner i passed, with every drawer i opened, with every load of laundry, with every cabinet that needed to be washed down. i quickly got hit with all the GUILT.. how could i have let my family down? why can't i seem to get it all done? am i lazy, am i selfish? the list goes on...

i thought i was getting better and i believe that i have given so much of it over to God. but, i do know that i have a long way to go in this area. i still carry with me so much of wanting to please everyone, i hate to disappoint, i hate to say no. i know that God is stripping away these layers and that this is not what He wants for me. i trust Him. i need to lay this at His feet. my desire is that i'm obedient and that all i do glorifies Him, not man...

i'm looking forward to what God has in store for me this year. the most encouraging part is that i'm not the one in charge.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation
of my heart be pleasing in your sight,
O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19 :14

dear heavenly father, i surrender the guilt to you. i know Lord, that it does not please you. i want to be filled with you. i want your desires for me to be my desires. i thank you that i can lay this at your feet and you wipe me clean. as i begin the new year, Lord, may my words and actions be pleasing to you. may i set aside my earthly flesh and be filled with your holy spirit.

At Home

2008-11-21T14:59:00.000-08:00

so, i've started another blog.... i thought this could be a fun way of sharing practical and maybe a few impractical ways of caring for our homes and families. check it out and let me know what you think... http://athomeministries.blogspot.com

blessings all!

sunday

2008-11-16T08:54:00.001-08:00

justin's been reading to the girls every night from the New England Primer. it was the first school book for young children. it's based on old and new testament scripture and gives life lessons in how to live according to God's Word. i encourage you all with young children to pick up a copy. it's for sale on christianbook.com for $6.00 {not including shipping}. this is a treasured book in our home.

justin has been at the men's retreat this weekend and had the privilege of leading the men in a saturday morning devotional. he read from the Primer. i thought i'd share the same this morning.. i believe this speaks volumes.................

Have communion with FEW,
be intimate with ONE,
deal justly with ALL,
speak evil of NONE
- The New England Primer.

edited: even if you don't have small children, pick up a copy!!

convicted...

2008-11-12T09:46:00.000-08:00

last night we had the pleasure of having a brother in Christ over for dinner. justin met him one night at church about a year ago and God has just brought these two men closer together. the interesting thing about our friend is that he's in the film industry and has recently finished writing a script for an upcoming movie, based on a true story. the story is one of forgiveness. justin and i have both had the honor of reading the script and it's a hard one at times to get through. through the past year, we've been praying for this film we both feel that it's an important story to tell and we've committed to coming alongside our friend to see this to the end. it was so awesome to sit and listen to his vision for the film and how God has been changing lives just through the whole process. that's actually a story of it's own.... as we were closing the evening, he showed me the inspiration for his film and i wept......

with a heavy heart and a huge pit in my stomach, i prayed myself to sleep last night. i prayed for each of my children and for their futures and for the fact that God has given us these priceless beings for a short time. i prayed that they would have a heart of forgiveness and i prayed that for myself. i prayed that i would not let bitterness, wrath, resentment well up inside of me, but forgive just as God has forgiven me. i needed the reminder tonight that only God knows the number of our days, and how unforgiveness can lead to a whole host ugliness, not to mention, disobedience. i also, want my children to see in me a heart of compassion and grace, someone who is quick to forgive and forgot. i so often get caught up in the record of wrongs, ugh... it's so yucky to live like that. there is freedom in surrendering.........

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the richest of His grace.
Ephesians 1;7

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32

a new day

2008-11-05T13:18:00.000-08:00

{ i went for a morning walk today and this song was on my ipod- thought i'd share the words, they spoke right to my heart.}

Full Attention

{words and music by Jeremy Riddle}

May your voice be louder and
May your voice be clearer
Than all the others, than all the others
And may your face be dearer
And may your words be sweeter
Than all the others, than all the others in my life

Please keep my eyes fixed on you
Please root my heart so deep in you
Keep me abiding, keep me abiding
Keep me abiding that I may yield fruit

And may your presence be truer
And may your presence be nearer
Than all the others, than all the others
And may your light shine brighter
And may your love move deeper
Than all the others, than all the others in my life

Please keep my eyes fixed on you
Please root my heart so deep in you
Keep me abiding, yes, keep me abiding
Keep me abiding that I may yield fruit

Please keep my eyes fixed on you
Please move my heart so deep in you
Keep me asking, keep me asking
Keep me abiding that I, oh that I may yield fruit
Keep me close to you, oh, right next to your heart
Right next to your heart, close to you.

oh Lord, that is my prayer that your voice would be clearer than any others. please help me to keep my eyes fixed on you. i want to keep abiding in you. in the midst of the unknown, i KNOW that you reign. thank you for a new day and for many blessings you so freely give. may i trust more, pray more, love more, give more, obey more, honor you more, speak more about you, serve more, know you more......................

a lovely morning

2008-10-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

this morning I took L and S to the river to feed the ducks. the bummer was, there were no ducks. so, we decided to take a little walk into the bosque. we had a blast, laughing, singing, running-they were so fun. S loved running in the woods and looking at all the sticks. L is such a great sister, she walked closely next to S and made sure he didn't trip. we missed M so much, but i did enjoy just spending time with the two. i need to do this more often....

thank you Lord, that you blessed me with such a beautiful morning. the warm sun, the laughter of my children, the beauty of your creation. i'm in awe of how you know just what i need and when i need it. i pray that i hold onto this day and treasure the time spent, it was a wonderful gift.

yes, we know it's a week early

2008-10-25T20:03:00.000-07:00

today we were invited to a hayride/trick-or-treating neighborhood gathering by sweet friends. the children got all dressed up and enjoyed riding from house to house to fill their bags. the evening ended by pizza and games/prizes at a neighbors home. halloween is not a huge event in our home, but we thoroughly enjoyed spending time with great friends. here are a few highlights from the festivities..

a family that bikes together.....

2008-10-21T05:17:00.000-07:00

stays together! we had a fun late afternoon bike ride along the rio grande river {the kids call it the chocolate river because it's so muddy}. thought i'd share a few photos.

sending you to...

2008-10-19T09:16:00.000-07:00

i just checked out my blogging friend S at Like a warm cup of coffee. please go to her site and click on Sunday's post.

please join me in prayer today as we lift up our country and pray that God would reveal His heart to those who will be voting in this election and more importantly to our candidates.

i woke up today with this verse on my heart.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you , live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge;I will repay, says the Lord. On the contrary; "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:18-21

mor

2008-10-15T18:40:00.000-07:00

{mor on her 90th birthday, April 16, 2008}

Mor, means mother in Danish and Norwegian. Mor, that is what we call her. She is a sweet, kind, honest, gentle, giving, loving, tender, forgiving, beautiful, witty, faithful, peacemaker, wise, wonderful baker and chef, gifted at hospitality, lover of all and mostly a priceless example of a godly woman. She is my grandmother. I've been blessed with this woman, she has been my closest friend. I have been able to cry, laugh, and pray with her. She lost her beloved a year and a half a go and hasn't been the same since. She served him faithfully for 67 years. She has been my example of what God has called us women to be, a quiet and gentle spirit, a helpmate, and a true proverbs 31 woman. At times Justin says I'm exactly like her. There is no greater complement.

Since the passing of Far {Father}, she has longed to go be with him. She ends her prayer at night with, " Lord, I'm ready,take me". Her greatest desire right now is to be in the arms of Jesus and to be reunited with her Albert. My heart aches for her, in the quiet of the night, I find myself crying for her. There are few memories she has that don't include Far. They passed down a legacy of serving God, and one another. She recalls a time when her children were school age and she was busy making beds and she heard God beckon her. She knelt by her son's bed and surrendered her busyness and committed to never allowing the things of this world to come between her and God. I believe that she hasn't let a day pass that she hasn't served Him fully. I know that when her day comes, she will hear, "Well done good and faithful servant."

{she has a special relationship with all her great-grandchildren}

{Jesus loves the little children}

{the entire family gathered for her 90th-
she was missing her beloved, and still is}

Tonight, I find myself torn. Mor is in the hospital with some kind of infection, there is no clear picture as to what is the cause, but she's not well. I so desperately want her to close her eyes and awaken in the presence of our Lord and Savior and yet, I'm selfish. I want her to hold my children once again, I want to feel her soft cheeks and smell her sweet perfume. I want to hold her hand and kiss her as I put her to bed, I want to pray with her and listen to her share stories of her life with Far. My rest is knowing that I will once again see her, but, in the meantime my flesh takes over. Please pray for my sweet Mor {she would want you to call her that}, that what ever her lot, she will be able to say, that it is well.................

the pumpkin patch {or should i say pumpkin parking lot}

2008-10-15T06:18:00.000-07:00

for the past 5 years we've gotten a kick out of the preschools annual pumpkin patch field trip. actually, it's just a walk across the church parking lot. at times i wish we were back east where the kids could enjoy the full taste of autumn, but God has placed us here, so we enjoy and make the best out of where we are.

{walking across the parking lot}

{daddy was able to join us}

{seth and lis- we missed mia {sad face...}

thank you heavenly father, that although we're in the southwest and our pumpkin patch is in a parking lot you were there. thank you that the kids had a great time and enjoyed picking out pumpkins and for justin who had the day off. i pray that the church's youth group is blessed by the sale of the pumpkins. i'm so grateful for the opportunities we have with our children, even though they look a little different from mine as a child. i praise you because you care even about the little details....

Jesus loves the little children

2008-10-12T08:48:00.000-07:00

Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world, red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.

ALERT '08

2008-10-04T09:48:00.000-07:00

Our church is hosting ALERT '08 a prophecy conference. Pastor Skip Heitzig, Tim LaHaye, LTG. William G. Boykin, and former terrorist Kamal Saleem will be speaking. Chris Sligh, former American Idol contestant will be leading us in worship. We are so blessed to serve in a church that is focused on speaking biblical truth and equipping us a believers to be better prepared for what lies ahead.

Check this out!

Calvary of Albuquerque- click on watch now! {i believe you can archive this}

{ps. justin went to the airport this morning to pick up Tim LaHaye- pretty cool....}

thank you Lord, that you have given Skip a heart for Truth, thank you for using Calvary to speak your Word and that there are ears that are eager to listen. i pray for protection on our campus, for those attending and for our pastors that are serving. i pray for those who want to harm us, Lord use us to show your love and to boldly stand for you. i pray that hearts are changed today and that we walk away better equipped to live for you.

sundays best

2008-09-21T06:29:00.000-07:00

He has showed you, O man, what is good.

And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly
with your God.
Micah 6:8

on the lighter side..

2008-09-20T07:03:00.001-07:00

justin has fridays off, and our project list was quite long, so a trip to Lowe's was in order. we all piled in the car {M was at school}, and stopped at our friends four-bucks. no trip to Lowe's should be without a grande mocha in hand. L kept asking if she could have a sip of coffee, if you know L, you know that she can be really persistent. after several attempts at trying to get her lips around the coffee cup, she eventually said, "i can't wait until i'm older so i can drive and drink coffee." we got a good laugh and it has kept us smiling through the stress of hinge/door handle decisions.

{side note about lis- most people think she's from boston or new york after hearing her speak. we have no idea where the accent came from- she's too much}

unrealistic expectations

2008-09-15T16:19:00.000-07:00

i shared with you all a few posts back about being in the midst of the trial. well, news to report, it seems that the trial is over. let me share....... we decided after much prayer and agony to homeschool our 1st grader this year. last year she was in kindergarten and we knew her teacher very well from church and because of that we were confident in having M in her class. we tried to get Mrs. M to move up the the 1st grade, but after many pleading sessions, we quickly realized that was not going to happen. so, what do we do..... we were not confident in the school as a whole, let alone the school system. we researched and found a wonderful christian school in our area and we were really excited, but God quickly changed those plans when funding for justin's non-profit fell through. plan b- homeschool seemed like the only option at the time and i struggled with the decision, but was I was determined to make it work. as august 17th approached, i became more anxious, determined and overwhelmed. i spent that first week of school trying to come up with a schedule, lesson plan and most of all patience. many nights of praying myself to sleep. i know this is not unusual for new homeschool moms, so in many ways i felt a bit relieved. we went to michigan for two weeks and i tried to get M to buckle down and do her school work- it was nearly impossible with all the family around. most of my time spent in MI, i felt anxious and so nervous to get home. it was very difficult to relax and enjoy my time without thinking about starting school once we got home.

we finally arrived home on tuesday and when i opened the door to the house, i immediately felt this heaviness hit me. my demeanor changed and i become irritated, impatient, and not very loving. i knew exactly what it was.... wednesday, we sent our little L off to her first day of preschool and i was determined to have M study all morning. boy, how that failed.... it became impossible to get her to sit and not be distracted. {i'll speed up the story} our home has always been a fun place and to have her try and switch gears was a real struggle for me. she's a very quick learner and has really enjoyed learning. i thought that was going to be on my side, but in fact it worked against me. i wondered was she learning anything???

thursday, a dear friend of mine called to chit chat. i unloaded all the concerns and issues i had with homeschooling. after listening to me carry on, she mentioned a school that they had heard about. after getting all the details, i called the school and was told that they have one 1st grade spot available and that it might fill quickly. i made an appointment for that afternoon to look at school and called justin to fill him in. i picked justin up from church, {the school is only 5 minutes away from calvary}. when we entered the building we immediately had that small town feeling. i had been praying to either move back east or find a school that has a strong sense of community and parental involvement. after speaking with the director and administrative staff we felt such at ease with this school. i took the application and began filling it out, just as i finished the paperwork the secretary received a call about that open spot in 1st grade. whew! not open anymore..... as we were leaving this incredible peace came over and i just knew this was from Him. my only hesitation was having to tell M. when justin came home that night, we sat down with her and explained all our reasons for enrolling her in school and her response was "YEAH!!!!!". again another confirmation from God.

there is still a bit of a junk that i'm wrestling with and mostly it's my sense of failure. i wanted so desperately to make this work. i had such grand expectations of how i thought homeschooling was going to come together. and again, they were unrealistic expectations. i think that's always been my problem. UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.... ugh..... the biggest relief has been that my sweet husband has and still is so supportive of whatever direction we take. he said on our way back to church that day " let's be frank, i never wanted you to homeschool, but you were so determined, so i just let you go with it." he knows me so well.

we're two days into school and M just loves it. she's so excited and the only issue she has is the fact that she has to wear a uniform. "mom, i want to look pretty"- i think she was relieved to see that she wasn't the only one in khaki pants and an oxford shirt.

thank you Lord, that you allow us to go through the junk and that you know in the end that we'll be stronger because of it. thank you for providing options for us and giving Mia such an excitement for school. i'm honored that you allowed me to try homeschooling and that the way out was always there. thank you for my sweet justin who is so supportive and yet, convicting at the same time. what a beautiful example of who you are in my loving husband. i commit this new year to you and look forward to seeing what you'll do Mia's life. also, we're so grateful for the little christian school that Lis is able to attend, and that you have provided above and beyond to make it happen.

SIDE NOTE: sorry for the long post and i'm not much of a writer. i believe there are lots of run on sentences, yikes.

COUSINS

2008-09-02T18:19:00.000-07:00

we're still in Michigan and having a wonderful time with family. my sister and her family live 5 minutes from my parents, so we've been together everyday. it's so awesome to see all the kids playing together. it wasn't always like this.... there are 6 kids under the age of 6, whew.... it's so interesting that God blessed us both with 2 girls and a boy. my nephew Shepherd just turned 2 and he's had quite a 2 years of his life. he was born with a cleft-palate, many surgeries, many illnesses, many late nights, lots of trips to the ER, feeding tubes, and many nights spent praying. he's a miracle, and it's so beautiful to see just how God has healed, they are not out of the woods yet, but positive that this year will bring about new growth for all.

thank you Lord, for little Shepherd and that you've brought him this far. we look forward to what your going to do in his life. i pray that these two sweet boys will have a great bond and that they grow into men after your own heart.

i interrupt this post....

2008-08-27T11:51:00.001-07:00

for a special service announcement.....

i'm in Michigan for the next 2 weeks visiting my family! i flew alone with the 3 kids yesterday and let's just say it was a journal day......... i will post when i can, but the most important thing is for me right now spending time with my parents, sister and fam, 90 year old grandmother, and aunt.

not many pics right now, but, this was taken at breakfast this morning......

lis was praying over their bagels, blueberries and oldemor's coffee.

heavenly father, thank you that we're able to spend time in Michigan and that you made this possible. i pray that relationships are strengthened and that time spent will only glorify you. thank you for lazy days and quality time around the table.

going through it...

2008-08-19T09:11:00.000-07:00

i knew it was coming..... here i go, through the trial..... but, God is SO good and His mercies ARE new every morning!

thank you Lord, that you remain faithful even in the midst of my chaos. thank you that you restore my spirit and that you hold me close and whisper to me that you will see me through. thank you for showing me your love in those around me. thank you for loving me and giving me glimpses of who you are throughout the day.

not a whole lot to say.......

2008-08-15T19:27:00.000-07:00

God is stirring something in me and i just can't put my finger on it. lately, i've been a little on edge and grumpy... ugh {i've needed to ask forgiveness a lot} i've really been trying to be quiet and still before God. at times, it's a really beautiful time for me, but then i find there are times where i'm anxious and waiting for a clear voice, because i feel {see it's all about me} that i deserve to have answers NOW. i know that He's stretching me and i feel a real growth spurt coming on, but do i really want it.. no thank you..... however, i do know that i don't want to remain where i am, so that means i will submit and obey and go through the trial.

i'm always excited to see where God is leading and thankful that He's not through with me yet. so, i will be still and invite Him onto my boat and i will listen to what He's saying, i will try not to lead, but follow.......

dear heavenly father, i know that you have more for me. i know that you have stirred desires in me and want me to be obedient. Lord, i pray that i will set aside what i want and fully commit to your plan. please forgive me for being selfish with my time, i want so desperately to be about your business. continue to speak to me Lord, for i want to listen and obey.

relationships

2008-08-10T06:50:00.000-07:00

heavenly father, i'm struck with how fast time is flying by. thank you for all the relationships in our lives and all the people that you have blessed us with. it's a treasured gift that can't be replaced. help me to be mindful of the time you have given us and not take a moment for granted. Lord, help me to be aware of my words and actions and to love like you have called me to love.

i will lift my eyes

2008-08-03T10:07:00.000-07:00

I will lift my eyes
{song written and performed by Bebo Norman}

God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now
God, be near, calm my fear
And take my doubt

Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can’t climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, let Mercy sing
Her melody over me
God, right here all I bring
Is all of me

‘Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
The Lover I need to save me
‘Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God
So hold me now

thank you Lord, that you are my defender. that i can come to you at any moment and you hold me close. i pray for those who curse me and love those who are unkind. thank you that i can find rest in you. i pray that i will use every situation for your glory.

think about such things

2008-07-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.
Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me,
or seen in me- put into practice.
And the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:8-9

a sweet getaway

2008-07-21T20:23:00.000-07:00

last week we decided to escape with some friends to the mountains of colorado. it had been awhile since we had been out of town and we needed it so desperately. we had originally planned a month away to NH { actually, i was to be away with the kids for a month and justin would join us when he could}. well, with the rising gas prices and absurd airfare, we thought it best to stay close to home. i really battled with disappointment- i wanted so badly to spend the summer on the lake, but God had other plans for us and i've learned over the years not to have expectations. {as justin reminds me, that when we have expectations, we only get hurt} so, i really needed to go before the Lord and surrender MY plans for HIS plans and what would be best for our family. we're trying so hard to be better stewards and it just didn't seem right to spend all that money this year. God spoke very clearly to me and reminded me that what's important is relationships, so i set aside all the desires i had and fully committed to making it a great summer at home. however, God gave us a sweet little gift in the form of faithful friends and a home in the mountains. {more importantly, church was able to free justin for a few extra days- thank you dave!} so off we went..... here are a few highlights

thank you Lord, that you gave us this little bit of time so that we could re-focus and spend time in your creation. thank you that you love us enough to bless us even when we least expect it. thank you for relationships that are centered on you and memories that will last. i love that you know just what we need and when we need it.

how would we manage without our......

2008-07-16T10:35:00.000-07:00

TOTES!!

this is what it takes to get a family of 5 on vacation and it's only for 4 days! as you can see we are BIG fans of the L.L. Bean and Land's End tote. what is a family to do without one of these?

this is a breakdown.....

x-large green tote- parents clothes
large navy tote-snacks and breakfast items
medium raspberry tote- mia's clothes
medium green tote- lis' clothes
medium red tote- seth's clothes and diapers
small black/blue tote- hair accessories and toiletries
mini tote- snacks for the car

last fall, i tried to get my sweet accommodating husband to take the x-large green {monogrammed} tote on his men's retreat. that was quickly shot down- he was afraid that he would be made fun of. REALLY! not only are they the easiest bag to pack and find your stuff, but they're so cute to carry and not to mention they look darling in the back of the car. i just couldn't imagine why he didn't want to take this tote.

i'm from new england and every good new englander knows that this tote is a staple in our luggage collection. i leave the large navy tote in the back of the car, so when stray items seem to pile up, i can always throw them in there and somehow, the junk from the car looks good.

we have 7 totes, and occasionally i find myself browsing the LL Bean catalog for that next tote that will somehow complete my collection. maybe it will be that insulated one for picnics- now which color to choose from?

NOTE: i just checked out the LL Bean website and they have a sale on TOTES! this is a killer deal for a must-have!

Thy Word

2008-07-13T08:25:00.000-07:00

Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens.
Psalm 119:89

Oh, how i love your law! I meditate on it all day long.
Psalm 119:97

How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
Psalm 119:103

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
Psalm 119:105

mama got some help!

2008-07-10T15:32:00.000-07:00

lately, i've been struggling with trying to get everything i need to get done and enjoy my time with the girls and S. however, it's been very difficult to get even the smallest of chores done around here. actually, IMPOSSIBLE... {in the 5 minutes i've sat at the computer, i've been interrupted 6 times- really} have i been lazy, unmotivated, discouraged, overwhelmed? YES, i have... i admit it, so the first thing is recognizing that i have a problem and the 2nd thing is to do something about it. a big part is that i have 3 sets of eyes starring back at me, 3 sets of hands grabbing at me, 3 sets of feet running after me, and 3 MOUTHS to feed ALL day long. it's very difficult to finish what i've started.

after a long hard look at my situation, i realized that something HAD to change. something HAD to give {as my husband so nicely puts it}. well, something did change, i found a little mamas helper, a sweet 12 year old girl who loves kids, she lives 1 mile away, and best of all she has no big summer plans.

she came over today, so that i could clean out closets and the kitchen pantry. i had 3 hours of uninterrupted time. the girls and S were having a great time and so was I!! we decided on one morning a week for her to come over and watch the kids so that i could get some projects done. {i've been feeling a little guilty this afternoon for having to pay someone to watch the kids while i clean- is there something wrong with that?}

the pantry before- don't look too closely.. yuck!

the pantry after- don't look too closely..

i was able to set aside some clothes for donation...

thank you Lord that i was able to be productive today. thank you for our little helper that was able to watch the kids, bless her. thank you for keeping them safe. i want to be better at managing my time, so that i can serve you more. help me to follow through and fill me with your spirit, so that i may better discern my priorities.

a good start to the day

2008-07-10T08:27:00.000-07:00

i just wanted to show you all how we begin our day. it doesn't always look like this, most of the time i have a child {or 2} on my lap and i'm trying to keep them quiet. but, for some reason today, i wanted to capture this moment- to me this is a beautiful picture of our family.

thank you Heavenly Father, that you have blessed this family with a man that so desires to live according to your word. that he desires for his children to grow in the grace and knowledge of you. thank you that we can start our day going before you and committing the day to you. it's a privilege to be called your children.

sundays best

2008-07-06T07:53:00.001-07:00

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve
what God's will is his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2

in God we trust

2008-07-04T15:24:00.000-07:00

our pastor put it so perfectly here. please read.......

{ok, so the flowers aren't looking so hot}

thank you Lord, that i live in a country that was founded on you, where i can worhsip you and enjoy the freedoms that come with living here. i pray for our nation, that we might return to your truth.

the one another commands

2008-06-30T07:25:00.000-07:00

in bible study last night we were reminded of the "one another" commands. {thank you dr. del tackett- the truth project} oh my, do i fall short of what God has commanded of me. i thought they were worth posting.

here they are....

Love one another (1 Peter 1:22)
Bear one another's burdens ( Gal 6:2)
Pray for one another (James 5:16)
Forebear one another (Eph 4:2)
Be kind to one another (Eph 4:32)
Admonish one another (Col 3:16)
Build one another up (Rom 14:16)
Give preference to one another (Rom 12:10)
Live in harmony with one another (Rom 12:16)
Encourage one another (1 Thess 5:11)
Submit to one another (Eph 5:21)
Serve one another (Gal 5:13)
Accept one another (Rom 15:7)
Be devoted to one another (Rom 12:10)
Teach one another ( Col 3:16)
Comfort one another (1 Thess 4:18)
Forgive one another (Eph 4:32)
Be of the same mind with one another (Rom 15:5)
Regard one another as more important ( Phil 2:3)

heavenly father, i fall short of these commands so much. please forgive me for not loving the way that i should or not considering others before myself. Lord, help me to shed my selfishness and fill me with your Holy Spirit, so that i may live in obedience to you.

faith like a child

2008-06-28T06:03:00.000-07:00

mia was at kids games this week at church. there were close to 400 kids in attendance. each morning all the kids would gather for worship. it was so beautiful to see all these kids singing, raising their hands, and dancing. ( i left most days in tears )

pure and simple.....

heavenly father, thank you that you make it so simple to enter into your prescence. forgive me for all the times i'm distracted and full of myself. i want to have faith like a child, a faith that sees you for all that you are. thank you for these children that desire to sing your praise, may they always seek to please you.

found!!!

2008-06-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

i found the most exciting budgeting tool. we'll actually, i didn't find it, i read about it on simplemom. so, i literally spent 15 minutes setting it up and it's user friendly. goodbye quicken!!

check it out. they also have a free trial for 30 days after that it's only $3.00 a month. less than one latte at.... (well, you know where).....

pear budget here i come!!!

with being better stewards of our resources, we will be able to spend more time here.

and give more here.

hope international
gospel for asia
focus on the family

lord, help us to see your people and give with a cheerful heart. thank you for the resources you've provided and may we please you in all that we do.

missing the lake....

2008-06-25T14:04:00.000-07:00

lake winnipesaukee that is............ we're praying that we will be able to make it back this summer, or fall, maybe winter, or hopefully next spring.....(these photos were taken last summer)

canoeing with daddy on the lake

swinging at the playground that far helped to build

chowda!!! yummmm- i can almost taste it

going for it

playing in the sand- at camp

loving it

lunch at wolfe's tavern..... (i'll have the rattlesnack, please)

oh lord, you know our hearts and if it's your will, please direct our paths back to new england. we trust you and continue to commit this to you.

on or off?

2008-06-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

since it's summer and because we live in the desert, we need to turn on the air conditioners often. we live in incredibly dry heat, so many people have swamp coolers, but due to my mold allergy, we turned it off and bought two window units. one unit is downstairs and can cool the entire 1st floor, the second unit we put in our bedroom and the air cools the 2nd floor. refrigerated air is just not in the budget this year.

my sweet husband gets hot easily and will remain hot, and make a point of letting me know that it's hot and are you hot?, wow, it's really hot. i can hear it until something changes.

as for me, i grew up back east and dealt with summers of humidity. yes, it's hot here, but not uncomfortable. i usually can get through it without any complaint.

so, here's where the battle begins.......

the battle of whether to keep the air on all day or just when it gets warm. i prefer to open the windows in the morning and let the breeze in and maybe turn the air on late in afternoon. justin prefers the air on ALL day. even when he's not here, he has said on many occasion, "it's so nice to come in to a cool house." ok- i'll give him that. but the battle rages at night as we sleep, when we wake up, when we leave the house. it can go on for the full summer.

now, this is the point of my story..... submit kari, submit...... i know that sometimes this is a hard word for many to hear. but, for me lately it's been a word that brings freedom. i think the world has bought into the lie that this is a word that shows weakness. let me tell you, that's far from the truth.

in bible study last night, we were going through God's social order (the truth project). boy, was it powerful and convicting. i know in my life that when i fall in line and obey what God has asked of me, He is blessed and I AM blessed. He's given us such an incredible gift in His word and it's so simple. not easy, but simple..... God is a god of order- not disorder, so it should not be a surprise to us that He ordained things just so. if we believe that what God has said is truth, then why do believe the lie the world is telling us.

the lie here is that i don't have to listen to my husband, that i can do what i want and that i can change him. when i think about the wasted years of believing this, it makes me sick. as i've taken time to seek God in this area of my life, He has revealed many things to me. i believe His word and it says, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to Lord." (Eph 5:22)- do you see that as to the Lord, not unto Justin, but as to the Lord. i'm submitting because i love God and that He asked me to. simple. not always easy, especially when i think i'm right. but, i have found that when i do, our lives go much smoother. justin is ultimately responsible for the decisions in our home and i know that through much prayer he is seeking God's wisdom and direction. why do i want to get in the way of what God is doing? plus, when i question him, it shows him that i don't trust his decision making and leads to a disagreement. we all know where that can take us....

just as the Son submits to the Father, i am to submit to my husband in such a way that brings God glory. this was HIS design, HE created the family, HE created order in the home. Dr. Del Tackett states "social order is based on His nature, it's a divine imprint of who HE is." i want to remember this when the world tells me that i don't have to be accountable to my husband. that would be going against the very nature of God.

although, there are times that i want to turn the air off right after justin has turned it on. i will submit to my husband, because i'm doing it until the Lord, my desire is to please Him. when i do, i show justin that i love him and respect him. i do this in the little details to the big decisions we make. an added bonus to this is when justin comes to me and asks me what i think, or let's pray together about this, or when he quietly turns the air off because he know that it's bothering me. that's his way of showing love to me. it's a beautiful design when we obey what God has placed before us.

thank you Lord, that nothing is by chance, that you designed the family structure to work perfectly when done according to your will. i pray Lord that i seek you daily in this area and that you continue to show me areas that i will submit to you and to justin. i thank you that you're refining me into the woman you want me to be.

Do you not know?

2008-06-22T16:53:00.000-07:00

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 41:28-31

Oldemor's Strawberry Jam

2008-06-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

i have such wonderful memories of my grandmother's frozen strawberry jam. just the smell of it brings back all the fun times we shared. so, today we decided that it was a perfect morning to get messy and make some tasty jam (as lissie calls it). we wish oldemor was here with us, but i know that she'd be proud of her little sugar baby lambs.

got the gloves on.

the goods

a little distracted, but trying to get the job done.

okay, lis got a little tired from mushing the strawberries, this works better...

the finished product! yummy!! we can't wait for peanut butter and jam!
(by the way, mia had to wear her glasses)

we love you Oldemor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kari, mia and lis

sweetness and chaos

2008-06-19T16:42:00.000-07:00

i had a talented friend take a few photos (okay maybe 400) for me so that i could frame a few for justin's office. tish did an amazing job. she really found away to capture the gang.

this is definitely a little sweetness in the midst of chaos

anxiously awaiting the apple mommy had in her hand.-( see the patience)

my moment with my pooh

believe it or not, but her daddy calls her bubba

i love this shot

our sweet little man.

memories were made and captured that afternoon. next time we need daddy in the picture........

kari

the sun is out!

2008-06-09T13:33:00.000-07:00

ok, so the last time i posted, i was feeling very overwhelmed and incredibly intimidated. i knew in my heart that i wanted desperately to be running this home more efficiently and with more of a frugal mindset. so, i spent much of the day on saturday, researching a way to help me be more of a good steward with the resources the Lord has given us. instead, of feeling inspired, i felt discouraged. for many reasons, but the one i kept coming back to was, the fact that i just didn't know where to begin. how do i start? how do i find the time to do all that i need to do, plus, all that i want to do.

so, after committing this to the Lord and asking Him for direction. this is what happened. i woke the next day to read such an encouraging comment from mommy snacks.
-"Hey, everything is in God's timing and you wouldn't want it any other way, I know! So, just remember that - you could have saved lots before but now with God's will and work in it, you'll be even more prosperous!!!"

she's so right, it's all in God's timing and since He's laid this on my heart just recently, I want to obey. so, thank you mommy snacks for all the hard work you do to make it easy for moms like me to be more aware of my spending and look for compiling lists of printable coupons. i'm starting with that!

after feeling encouraged and excited about this new adventure, i checked out simple mom.
this is another one of my favorite blogs. this site is full of helpful tools to better equip me as a mom. her post for today was productivity in the home. HELLO! could she read my mind.... i've been trying for a long time to work on this area in my life. my lovely husband who so enjoys time management has for awhile now tried to convince me to color code a calendar and stick to blocking out chunks of time for certain tasks. i know... i know..... that just doesn't work for a busy mom of 3. he means well, but oh dear! so, i thank you simple mom for doing the leg work and now there is freedom in knowing it IS possible.

thank you Lord, for giving me the desire to be more of who you want me to be.

kari

feeling overwhelmed...(sigh)

2008-06-07T19:10:00.000-07:00

as a stay at home mama of 3 children, and the wife of a pastor. i'm trying really hard to budget more, spend less, drive less, be more organized, and enjoy the blessings God has given us. but, i'm having a hard time at starting this.... there are a mix of feelings right now. like how do i even start? at all of it.... ugh... i'm feeling discouraged right now. and probably having a bit of a pity party.

i've spent the afternoon, searching, reading, researching and enjoying some great women out there (in the blogging world) who have compiled ways of saving money. but, honestly, i'm intimidated. where do i even begin.. i had no idea that i could print coupons, that there was a walgreens game, ebates, rebates, surveys, and more to help you save and earn money. i feel like i've cheated our family for not having started any of these.

so, i'm ready to take on this new world. i'm excited about the possibilities and i look forward to what i hope will be a journey to new heights.

however, i'm still intimidated about this whole process, so, i'll be using this outlet as a way of keeping my sanity.

my prayer is that someone else out there is a beginner as well, and maybe we can venture together.

this is picture of my husband looking at our garden. he's a tad discouraged at the lack of growing tomatoes. i think he's praying over them.

just like my husband praying over the absence of our tomatoes, i too commit this new endeavor to the Lord and trust that HE will guide. i thank you Lord, for your faithfulness in providing for us in many ways that we don't even deserve.

whether it's a new morning, an afternoon break, or start of something new- first we have coffee.........

kari

so i moved things around....

2008-06-07T06:03:00.000-07:00

so, i moved things around a bit. what do you think? better?

the floating couch- i like it better. i hate that the front door opens into this room. oh well, what can you do.. the pillows are from the master bedroom- is it too much white background.

a shot of the living room from the hall.. do you see the high windows. what's a girl to do?
another shot of the couch. a little different angle that shows the fireplace. do you know if i can paint the black and gold on the fireplace? also, my husband is planning on framing the mantle out with trim. it will look a lot better.
the tv cabinet angle .
moved the wing chair to where the couch use to be.
the chaise in the corner on an angle- next to the wing chair ( where the couch use to be)

i think this works for now.... when we bought the home, the family room was off the kitchen, but there was only the counter to eat at, and the formal dining room. so, that's why we did the switcheroo.. since we spend so much time in the kitchen, it only made sense to move the tv to the living room. it works for now....

thanks again nester!!

kari

oops, forgot these..

2008-06-04T19:47:00.000-07:00

oops, i forgot to add these to the earlier post...

this is a shot from the landing- looking down at the living room.

this is a shot of the front window. yikes, forgot to fluff the pillows... (everything looks a little crammed together- what's that about)

thank you for your kind words. i am grateful- i think i needed that reality check. isn't it that we always want what we don't have...ugh... the lessons never stop coming...

kari

can you work with this?

2008-06-04T14:12:00.001-07:00

ok, nester, am i looking at a lost cause?

Living room- notice no pillows, can't decide on a color, pattern, etc..... the pony wall behind couch separates the living room from the formal dining room (which we converted to a sitting room)
Living room angle from the front door. Hutch in corner is TV, i have my grandmothers silver tea service on top. why? fireplace is off to the left, ugh...

These high arches separate the two rooms- very high ceiling in living room. notice the pillows, i snagged them from the master bedroom. yes, no?

This is what we so affectionately call the "sitting room", my brother in law designed and made these benches for us. take notice of the different fabrics going on in there, i just can't decide... actually, i don't think i like any of them. oh bother......this is a wider view of the entire room. i hate the window treatments- hate! i'm just stumped. this room has a high ceiling as well. as i stated before - it use to be the living room. we decided that since so much goes on in the kitchen, we would switch things up a bit.

another view of sitting room and wall which i would like to either have bookshelves OR a family photo wall? any thoughts...

a desk that i use for photos, etc...

a not very attractive view of the kitchen through the sitting room...

well, as you can see, it's a work in progress. i like our home and trying to be content with what God has given me, but, it's a real struggle right now, because i'm not in love with our home. i come from a very traditional new england background, and i do appreciate that style, i'm looking to mix it up a little. i throughly enjoy what you've done in your home...

this is just a start.. i will post more tomorrow, now that i have a hang of this blogging world.

many thanks!
kari

where to start?

2008-05-28T15:30:00.000-07:00

for some time now, i've been quietly reading and following a few incredible blogs. i've seen God working in the lives of so many. in the midst of all, i've really felt Him working in me, so, for whatever it's worth this is just the beginning of many thoughts. i pray that through this, i will not only grow closer to Him, but that i will be able to see the changes He's made in my life throughout the life of this blog.

enjoy!
kari

by the way, ice coffee in hand...